November 2011
7 posts
WatchHEY TUMBLR FANS!!! IT’S OUR ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY AND WE’RE CELEBRATING BY GIVING AWAY A FEW BOOKS!
All you gotta do is re-blog is video! Do it! You know you want to… Especially if you didn’t win a book last time. This is your chance! We <3 you Tumblr.
WPT.
The Foursquare Champ
We originally posted the anonymous submission, “Foursquare Champ” in December 2010.
We loved this text from the start.
Something about the combination of Panera Bread and Matt’s skanky ass really hit home. We posted the text on our Tumblr to rave reviews and in March 2010, when we were deciding on the material for the book, “Foursquare Champ” was an obvious choice.
The text is in the...
Kimmy K
DAD: Kimmy K is getting DIVORCED.
ME: yeah i heard, crazy.
DAD: I want those four hours of my life back that TLC stole with the wedding special
ME: you watched it???
DAD: Chyeah!
October 2011
7 posts
Email: News.
DAD:
Just finished vacuuming the downstairs. Some additional straightening left in the kitchen after I finish this coffee break, but not much. Also, remade the MBR bed with clean sheets. Even put the throw pillows on the bed!
Lawn news-
1. Crows do not like pineapple.
2. Deer will nibble at pineapple, but not much.
3. Deer like apples.
4. Deer have nice manners. They eat an apple one bite at a time and do not try to eat the entire apple in one or two giant mulches.
5. Crows and deer will eat Arby’s leftovers, but crows will eat faster.
6. Both crows and deer approach food cautiously, looking around several times before the first bite as they appear to be sneaking up on food.
Real Housewives of NYC- Jill, Alex, Kelly, and Cindy (the newcomer) have been replaced for next season. Now you know. Plan accordingly.
Back to work. “As The World Turns” may be coming on at 2pm, and I certainly do not want to miss it. Janice may be embezzling from her company, and Lolita may be having an affair with Marilyn’s best friend’s husband.
Yours truly,
Ernie Gluckman
(aka Vacuum Man)
(or is it Vacuous Man)
Cat's Pajamas
MOM: I bought the cat a baby outfit to wear. Pink pj’s
ME: Omg..
MOM: What. She is recovering from surgery she deserves pj’s
Secrets
DAD: what was that new thing you did on my laptop? to copy words
ME: crtl+c? It’s not new.
DAD: well you never told me you knew. you always keep secrets from me
Dancing With The Stars vs. OWN
ME: I voted for chaz!
MOM: I didn’t watch
ME: What?!
MOM: I didn’t watch dancing
ME: Why?
MOM: I watched own…a very sad show abour people who make porno from home. :(
Best Tattoos Ever
ME: I think I want to get my nose pierced!
DAD: Thats fine with me as long as u understand that im going to get a tattoo on both of my forearms. On the right will be the singer KATY PERRY with candy apple stripes high lighting her name in bright alternating colors of red and white. Now on my left arm will be her image from her latest cd posing naked laying in a rainbow of clouds!! Go for it and I will too
(Best Tattoos Ever is the best of today! To check out more WPT head over to www.whenparentstext.com!)
Happy National Coming Out Day (Belated)
ME: I’m at the roller derby champs in DC. Don’t ask why.
MOM: is this your way of telling me that you’re gay?
Best of September: Turtles
DAD: you have to come home now its an emergency! no time to explain just get home now!
ME: What? is everything ok?
(10 minutes later)
ME: Ok dad im on the train home whats wrong???
DAD: remember that turtle that was laying eggs in the yard?
ME: What? no?
DAD: the eggs are hatching!
ME: OMG dad are you serious? what are you talking about? you made me leave in the middle of some importaint shit.
DAD: baby turtles!
September 2011
2 posts
AND THE WINNERS ARE...
Thank you to the 524 people that reblogged this post and for all the lovely responses. WE
And now for the winners:
samanthayam
plainoldthoughts
socalfeminist
wentdog
onceuponthetardis
(If you have won please send us your address/info in a submission on our tumblr so we can send you the book!!)
Thanks again for reblogging! Keep visiting us at www.whenparentstext.com, and keep texting your parents.
SOPHIA, LAUREN and the WPT TEAM
April 2011
54 posts
Dear Tumblr, A Fond Farewell. Love, WPT
To our 40,013 loyal Tumblr Followers,
We’re celebrating our five-month anniversary and 2000th post with a big change!
First of all, thank you! It has been wonderful to be a part of this community and be a liked, reblogged and followed by so many. The support of the Tumblr family has been enormously important to our website’s popularity and we cannot thank you enough for sharing WPT with your friends and family.
In order to provide you with a more interactive space, however, will be switching over to our own network. Tumblr has been a great host to us over the past five months and we will be sad to leave such a user-friendly site and vibrant community.
In the new site, we have tried to integrate your suggestions and consider your feedback. Thank you for your comments and please keep them coming! The NEW When Parents Text will have fancy features, expanding sections and continued hilarity.
We hope you understand our move and will join us over at the new www.whenparentstext.com
Keep visiting! Keep submitting!
: -)8
The Admins of When Parents Text
Not PC
Me: Hey daddy. Let’s try to find some time to chat later today. I’m headed out on a blind date at 5:45 so sometime before that?
Dad: Blind date. Bummer. Make sure he has a cane or a seeing eye dog or something. And don’t go to a movie. I don’t think he’d enjoy it. Call me when you are done.
When Grandparents Text: jEagle
Grandma: Hi, Our jTV channel for CBS has a neat live stream from Iowa at KOLD.com.
Grandma: Apair of Eagles had 3 eggs in the nest
Grandma: 2 have already hatched—third one is eminent.
Grandma: The live feed shows them feeding the chicks—Very cool!!!
Grandma: Happy jBirthday.
(Cool)
Dad: What time are you supposed to land?
Me: 6:15
Dad: K. (text lingo)
LIFE
Dad: Sup?
Me: Stress and Work! Can I go back to college?
Dad: LIFE grab it and hang on!!!
Colonoscopy
Mom: Hi honey, had the colonoscopy yesterday. Woke up with a really sore throat and make-up missing from one eye…what’s up with that?
Wicked
Me: Helen bought the tickets for Wicked! She got first row of the first balcony terrace, which are excellent seats, for $73!!
Mom:
Bed Bugs
Mom: Where are you ?
Me: At the mall .
Mom: Don’t get any clothes from the mall they carry bed bugs you know !
Me: Get Real Mom !
Mom: Bring a bed bug in this home we’ll see who’s real !
Me: What ?
