Day of the Week
ME: What day of the week was I born on?
MOM: I thought sat or sun I will check. I was there but wasnt really thinkin bout the day it was
ME: dad says to record the game
MOM: dont tell me how to live my life.
The Ice Crapper
MOM: So we have no water til 6 a.m. Dad is in a panic about the toilet, so he dumped a bunch of ice in and dubbed it “the ice crapper.”
DAD: Are your feet still intact
ME: They hurt. Really, really bad.
DAD: Should of worn skeechers
ME: Where are you?
MOM: Marriage counselor! It’s like a date, only less fun. :-)
DAD: hide yo kids hide yo wife party rock is in the house tonight, love dad
ME: Happy Fathers’ Day, love ya!!
DAD: Just let me play internet chess in peace. Don’t text back.
[Sale in the WPT Shoppe for Father's Day!]
ME: Hey ma, I’m staying at matt’s tonight.
MOM: Okay sweetie be careful
ME: Careful’s my middle name!
MOM: Well condom better be your confirmation name then
ME: Why is work so boring?!
MOM: That is why it is called WORK and not ADVENTURE
MOM: Went to store to get vegetable juice cause its good for memory. I forgot it!
ME: I came in seventh. : (
MOM: You’re no 1 to us.
DAD: There’s a chipmunk in the dining room. I’ve opened the front door and closed the others.
DAD: He’s cute.
MOM: please stop changing the google logo so much
MOM: i like the original one
ME: Mom I don’t change the logo. Google changes it.
MOM: on my computer
MOM: You don’t run the google?
Fixing My Hair
MOM: Sorry I yelled its just I am at a critical point in fixing my hair
Game of Thrones
MOM: Are you coming home on Fri?
ME: No, I’m staying here
MOM: Okay I understand, protect your dragons!
MOM: I still think you are way prettier than Khaleesi