Mother's Day Merchandise Sale!
Mother tested, Bowtie Man approved! We’ve officially opened the When Parents Text shoppe! As a special Mother’s Day gift, we’re discounting a few choice items that would make the perfect gift for your mom. I TEXT MY KID T-Shirt: How good would that look on your mom? Paired with some high-waisted denim and some practical footwear? It would look great! Save $2 on the perfect gift for the mom...
ME: You wouldn’t happen to know where my credit card is would you?
DAD: On the computer table
ME: No that’s one of the temporary ones.
DAD: Then, no. Sorry, maybe if u cleaned your room u could find it ;). I hope that emoticon doesn’t mean penis or vagina.
MOM: What is your picture?? I don’t want to lose
MOM: Well that’s a dumb way to draw it. Why is handing it to a little girl????
ME: He’s a villain and she’s the hostage!
MOM: So he’s going to blow her to bits?? That’s gruesome
ME: That’s what makes him a villain.
MOM: It looked like a diploma. Pls draw better in the future
DAD: Happy finals. May the odds be ever in your favor!
DAD: I have cupcakes.
DAD: I don’t think it’s contagious.
MOM: it doesn’t matter how old or gangster you are-if a toddler hands you a toy phone, you answer that shit
Equal Pay Day
MOM: so since your doing the protest to raise awareness on how women get paid less than men, I’m going to get you a payday candy bar when you get home.
ME: thanks mom
MOM: but I’m giving your father two payday candy bars :)
DAD: You two are the best.
ME: . . . who else did you send that to?
DAD: James. Don’t tell the others.
MOM: I’m leaving for the weekend so I hid $100 in your room for food, clean your room and you will find it.
DAD: If you are what you eat, does this make cannibals the only “real” people?
ME: What is wrong with you?
DAD: Goodnight and like Jesus, be sure to rise tomorrow
ME: Titanic in 3D just ended. So good!
MOM: Did they see the iceberg this time? If they didn’t see it in 3D that’s pretty pathetic