April 2011
54 posts
Dear Tumblr, A Fond Farewell. Love, WPT
To our 40,013 loyal Tumblr Followers,
We’re celebrating our five-month anniversary and 2000th post with a big change!
First of all, thank you! It has been wonderful to be a part of this community and be a liked, reblogged and followed by so many. The support of the Tumblr family has been enormously important to our website’s popularity and we cannot thank you enough for sharing WPT with your friends and family.
In order to provide you with a more interactive space, however, will be switching over to our own network. Tumblr has been a great host to us over the past five months and we will be sad to leave such a user-friendly site and vibrant community.
In the new site, we have tried to integrate your suggestions and consider your feedback. Thank you for your comments and please keep them coming! The NEW When Parents Text will have fancy features, expanding sections and continued hilarity.
We hope you understand our move and will join us over at the new www.whenparentstext.com
Keep visiting! Keep submitting!
: -)8
The Admins of When Parents Text
Not PC
Me: Hey daddy. Let’s try to find some time to chat later today. I’m headed out on a blind date at 5:45 so sometime before that?
Dad: Blind date. Bummer. Make sure he has a cane or a seeing eye dog or something. And don’t go to a movie. I don’t think he’d enjoy it. Call me when you are done.
When Grandparents Text: jEagle
Grandma: Hi, Our jTV channel for CBS has a neat live stream from Iowa at KOLD.com.
Grandma: Apair of Eagles had 3 eggs in the nest
Grandma: 2 have already hatched—third one is eminent.
Grandma: The live feed shows them feeding the chicks—Very cool!!!
Grandma: Happy jBirthday.
(Cool)
Dad: What time are you supposed to land?
Me: 6:15
Dad: K. (text lingo)
LIFE
Dad: Sup?
Me: Stress and Work! Can I go back to college?
Dad: LIFE grab it and hang on!!!
Colonoscopy
Mom: Hi honey, had the colonoscopy yesterday. Woke up with a really sore throat and make-up missing from one eye…what’s up with that?
Wicked
Me: Helen bought the tickets for Wicked! She got first row of the first balcony terrace, which are excellent seats, for $73!!
Mom:
Bed Bugs
Mom: Where are you ?
Me: At the mall .
Mom: Don’t get any clothes from the mall they carry bed bugs you know !
Me: Get Real Mom !
Mom: Bring a bed bug in this home we’ll see who’s real !
Me: What ?
Phone Knows All
DAD:
ME: wow! how’d you learn to do a heart? i’m feeling better
DAD: i just thought about how much i love you and a heart showed up!
Passover Text Warning
Mom: I made reservation for hotel in Boone for fri, apr 15. Also autocorrect changed gefilte fish to heckler fish. So be careful of that one.
Cash Money
dad: $
dad: $
dad: $
Me: dad why are you sending me so many $ signs
dad: because im bringing in the $$$$
Instant Play
Mom: hi honey. on netflicks there was a show about meth on instant play. they say its all the rage in thailand. xoxo
Virgin Airlines
Me: Dad, this airplane has mood lighting and seat-to-seat IM. We should fly it more often. Virgin is awesome.
Dad: That should be your life motto. Virgin is awesome, Virgin is awesome, Virgin is awesome.
"Lauren"
Dad: Lord, teach me how to use skype on my phone
Me: why did u just say lord?
Dad: im using my new voice to text, it was supose to say lauren
Buttland
Mom: Did you know that the music video for Baby Got Back was filmed on location in Buttland?
Anniversary
Mom: Going to store. What should I get dad 4 anniv…..pickles?
Me: Hahaha! Yes
(30 minutes later)
Me: Did you get pickles? Hahah
Mom: Yes I did and a balloon! :-)
Naks
MOM: Hi Naks (Filipino term of endearment). Pwr outage @ whole nabrhud. Ptch black. We have flshlts. Need to buy more c and d batrs. b karful. luv mom. Power back on now.
Easter: Mass Text
Mom: HI BABIES!!!! Hope you are all having a good day and being careful so that I don’t have to worry about you… *THE EASTER BUNNY IS NOW ACCEPTING EASTER LISTS* email them to your father and he will give them to me since I don’t know how to check the email.
Worse?
Dad: Are you watching the game? Cats down by ten at the half :(
Me: Eh, life could be worse…
Dad: I could be peeing my pants…?
Eye Em
Mom: r u eye eming someone?
Me: What?
Mom: hehehe…ur eye eming me
Me: mom. its IM. not eye em….and we’re texting.
Mom: eye eming. he he he
Great Idea
mom: I thought of something cool… An Internet cafe called the spacebar with an outer space theme
It's a Passover Thing...
Mom: Manishevitz is a gateway drug that will lead to your downfall-next you’ll be snorting challah and finally injecting yourself with charoset.
Good Luck
DAD: Hope u and ur mates break all ur legs tonight. :’(
ME: Why the crying face?
DAD: i was trying to make a cool guy with sunglasses face but i couldnt figure it out :’(
Saturday, 7AM
Mom: Don’t ever drink Devils Spring Vodka straight. it is 160 proof and it will burn your stomach and esophagus. You will end up in the hospital. If you must drink it, you must dilute it. Pass it on to your friends. It may save their life. We are having tacos tonight xo
Fruitfull
DAD: Meetings Fruitfull.Boston Pizza … finishing….
ME: What?
DAD: FRUITFULL MEETING MEANS GOOD
Call me.
MOM: Michael made a great gay danish singing sperm!
ME: WHAT
MOM: Do u not know what sperm is? Call me.
The Beginning
Dad: look what i can do
Hog Wild
Dad: Are there any Denny’s in Utica? Cause it’s bacon month at Denny’s and you can even get a bacon Sundae. Treat your bro.
#1 Search Engine
Me: How do I get mold out of my water bottle?
Mom: I don’t know. Maybe ask Jeeves.
Goin' Green
Mom: Be proud-polished my shoes w/ olive oil. Shoe polish supposed to be really bad. Pretty soon I’ll be so green I’ll blend w/ the trees (I’ll be the shrubby one)!
Enter
MOM: I have a pineapple.
Not sure if
Its
Swe3t yet.
Do
You want me
T o
Cut it or
Give it to you whole.
Grandpa
Dad: Be careful and watchout, most guys are assholes either sooner or later
Dad: I never knew a guy who wasn’t a jerk except my father
Me: Aw Grandpa
Dad: He’s too old for you
If He Asks
Mom: Remember, if your dad asks where I am, I’m with you.
Can Only Imagine
Mom: Hurry up and don’t bring the dog. I got deer skin in the back.
Temple
Mom: What are you up to?
Me: I’m still at temple.
Mom: Are you going crazy?
Mom: I’ll look for the Rabbis Gone Wild video on youtube.
Mom: Better not see you dancing the horah on top of a table with a lampshade on your head.
"The Cat That Puked"
Dad: Borders is going out of business.
Me: Really? Are they having a big sale?
Dad: Huge but mainly just stuff like the farting dog.
Me: Books like that are probably why they’re going out of business.
Dad: Totally- whats next- The Cat That Puked????
Rebecca Black: Harsh
Me: Did you watch the Friday music video by Rebecca Black yet?
Mom: Yes. It was the worst five minutes of my life. I kept hoping for her to get hit by the bus she was waiting for.
Sex
Me: Got an A+ on my anthro of sexuality midterm, no big deal.
Mom: Sex is a big deal.
Cobranation
Dad: Hey, me again letting you know the snake was caught :(
Me: Haha, why are you sad?
Dad: no billboard like i thought :(
April 1st
Dad: Your shoe laces r untied
Me: Good one but i don’t have shoelaces. lol
Dad: Hi
Steroids
Me: Your favorite baseball player take steroids. I hope you aren’t following his lead.
Dad: I do have very big nipples.
Free Refills
Mom: what kind of wine do they have at panera
Maybe
Me: He’s so sexy. It’s really too bad he has a girlfriend.
Mom: Maybe she’ll die.
P O T
Mom: So do u think i should let him sleepover at jeffs? Do u think he wb drinking there???
Me: haha yeah i think you should let him. hes responsible
Mom: Do u think they wb drinking or smoking p o t?
Helicopters
Dad: I just bought a helicopter. Well I bought it days ago but just took delivery today.
Me: Really?
Dad: My red one broke. This one is blue. $19 on Amazon. You should get one. I fly it round the house and the dogs go nuts.
Dad: Yeah, they’re real fun. I’ll send you one.
Dad: I can send my red one right now!
Dad: But it doesn’t fly, so I don’t know.
Dad: Well I’m just saying…
(20 minutes later)
Dad: You can have a helicopter.
Me: I want a purple one.
Dad: They don’t make purple. Red, yellow, blue, black, and invisible.
Me: Lol. Okay. Invisible.
Dad: Then you already have it!
What Happens In Vegas
Mom: You have been in Vegas for 24 hours now and haven’t checked in. Call me!
(5 Hours Later)
Mom: CALL ME! I just watched a show on girls that go missing on vacation! I don’t know where you are or who you’re with. You need to check in with your mother!
(1 day later)
Mom: If I was with you right now would I be happy or would I be sad?
At Work Late
Dad: I’ve got to get out of the Twilight Zone and back into Middle Earth.
Leftovers
Me: Whats for dinner?
Dad: You already ate last night
Cow Cow
Mom: Cow cow!
(20 minutes later)
Mom: April Fools! Rabbit rabbit!
Puberty Talk
Mom: Today ur brother said he learned about ‘jackulation’ during the Puberty Talk.
