Mom: Morgan got the key taking care of kitty
Me: Okay thanks mom!! I can’t believe you know how to text…
Mom: took me 10 min tired
HAppy Feet, Dawg.
Mom: Whaz up dawg?
Me: Nothing, on my way to dance rehearsal
Mom: Yeah dawg! Hope you’re tappin away with ur HAppy feet!
Our 100th Post: Lifetime Original
Dad: Hiya, honey. HOMELESS TO HARVARD is on Lifetime today.
Dad: Do you want me to put it in your DVR as a coming home present? xo, D
21st Century Parenting
Mom: I want a picture of u at her house. either outside w house showing or w her mom at home so i know ur there
Cold and Desperate
Mom: Are you freezing yet
Mom: Are you FROZEN
Mom: Are you still there
Mom: If you have text me I have not gotten them
Mom: Don't forget ur b vitamins
Blame it on the Juice
Mom: dont drink 4loko gramie said on the news that kids @ emerson have been drinking them
Mom: dont drink it! you are are tiny and it will kill you
Me: Have you ever head of Four Lokos?
Dad: I’ve heard about it in the news. Like people drinking red bull and vodka. Don’t get it myself.
Dad: Slow down party girl!
Mom: Would you get the mail on your way in?
Mom: Mail please?
Mom: Could you get the mail?
Me: this is the only thing you ever text me about.
Mom: No. Sometimes I ask you to get the garbage cans too.
Mom: At the gate yet? How was the body scan?
Dad: Where the F R U?
Dad: How long does it take to go to CF? I need some help in the yard.
Dad: thx a lot 4 the cold.
Dad: I have a cold. Me sick. Ur germs.
Mom: Is pepperoni coming over?
Mom: I mean Melanie
Mom: the GRINCH is on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mom: Time to be home.
Mom: Errrbody in da club….
Dad: I will happily pay for meds
Dad: …But only the ones ur prescribed
Dad: DONT DO DRUGS
Dad: I MEAN IT
Me: My suitemates scare me
Mom: What’s a suiternate
Mom: R U THER?
Mom: U r a shooting star!
Mom: Remember cat dog lmao
Mom: my third pre thanksgiving dinner tonight… i’ve had turkey up my ying yang and it’s not even the main event. Lord help me….
Dancing with the Stars
Mom: K remind me what ur birth control is so = can complete ur medical form…just like a good mommy!
Me: Mononessa, thank you!! I’ll call later tonight
Mom: Ok hope ur feeling a bit better. love you…dont let anyone vote 4 bristol palin!
Mom: Err… I don’t suppose that y left a head of garlic on my night table last week?
Mom: LOL. Nvm. Will explain ltr.
MOM: Dobbie :(((((
MOM: Brain fart. Just sad abt house elves
Far East Movement
Mom: Like a G6….
From WPT, Happy Thanksgiving!
Mom: Hey! I was just looking in the Trader Joe’s flyer so, I guess you’ll be having Tofurkey for Thanks giving! Tofobble, fobble!!! :)
W T U C H
Mom: W r u
Me: Umm… Where am I? Downtown
Mom: W u d
Me: Hanging out with people…
Mom: W t u c h
Mom: What time u coming home
Gee I Hope So
Me: Are we on the right ferry?
Mom: (8:29 PM) We are leaving the restaurant now. S
Mom: (8:31 PM) Never mind that message. Getting off 40, about 10 mins. or less
Mom: (8:32 PM) Actually we are here! Come outside
Mom: (8:33 PM) In a min
Me: Haha you’re crazy. Okay I’m outside
Mom: (8:35 PM) Yes I am
Mom: just realized i forgot to pvt chips in your lunch.sorry.will t
First day confidence booster..
Mom: Good morning beautiful? You look pretty in your black uniform!! Maybe? LOVEE YOU, YOUR MOM! mom.
Hugz from Dad, xo.
Dad: It’s a hug.
Me: …that doesn’t mean what you think it means.
Welcome to texting, Mom
Mom: I’m on text!
Mom: You make me feel like. I’m livin a teenage dream don t eva look back
Mom: Remember it’s David’s bd!
Me: I am david, remind the girls, no calls yet
Mom: Girls, remember its david’s bd!
Mom: oh ya, Happy Birthday!
Mom: Where r u?
Me: Strange folk concert…I’m in 5 inch platforms. Not my scene
Mom: Remember who u are!
Bed Bugs and Brikum
Mom: ok don’t get mad but i read about bed bugs and decided to disenfect all the beds. including urs it was a process.
Mom: i had to vacumm ur bed with the hose and stuff but if their were bed bugs now they are gone..hehe
Mom: also i’m going to take a brikum yoga class. do u want to try it with me?
Slither and Dumbledorf
Mom: did u see hary potter yet?
Me: yeah, it was awesome
Mom: im excited 2 c what happens bcuz slither kills dumbledorf
Mom: and u find out that hes the half blood!
Unsolicted Sales Advice
Dad: bed bath and beyond has nice cheap coat racks
Mom: Make any more music videos?
Me: No, we forgot our instruments.
Mom: Bet you didn’t you forget alcohol.
Do you mean my brother? Reed?
Mom: Do you know where Weed is?
From the floor below
Mom: Do you watch Dexter?
Mom: How are u feeling?
Me: bleh. really sick :(
Me: …. what??
Mom: Lots of love!
Dad: New cheap Chinese glasses came today…trying for nerdy cool or do I just look nerdy?
Oprah's My Favorite Things
Mom: Wait til you see "My Favorite Things!"
Me: It's good? What is she giving away?
Mom: LOTS!! Am recording.
Mom: People are screaming, crying, kissing, jumping
Mom: lots of cops around today, be carefuck
Mom: what do u think about job as academic marketing assistant? helping promote text books….
Mom: I listened to the cat’s heart with a stethoscope and I hear the murmur but tough with all that purring!!
Dad: R U?
[1 missed call]
[1 missed call]
Dad: call me NOW!
[2 missed calls]
Me: dad it’s been 30 minutes since you first texted me…i’m at a party with lisa—i told you where i was going—i said i’d be home at 1, it’s 11…chill
Dad: call me NOW, R U?
Me: I just told you where I was!
Dad: see you at 1
Stop reading Perez, please.
Me: I got an A on my exam!
My Pakistani Mother
Me: How much did I weigh at birth?
Mom: 7.75 pounds. We cook shrimps. Want to eat?
Mom: Very good cupcakes also. Want to eat?