February 2012
6 posts
The Bachelor
MOM: I dont no how to do all caps but he is so ugly
Laughing Pigs
MOM: Board meeting. Bored meeting.
ME: blah
MOM: Aargh! Tried to sneak a round of angry birds – thought phone on mute – when i hit the icon all you could hear were laughing pigs
Happy Valentine's Day from WPT
MOM: Happy Valentines Day!
ME: Thanks.
MOM: I have a confession. Remember when you were in 4th grade and thought that “secret admirer” card was from Bobby? Well it was me.
ME: WHAT!?!?!
MOM: You liked him so much, I just didn’t want you to be heart broken.
ME: Well it is now – Thanks CUPID!
The Best of Times
MOM: Mark Twain wrote “A Tale of Two Cities”, yes? No?
ME: No, Dickens. Oddly, today is Dickens’s 200th birthday.
MOM: Will there be cake?
The Game
ME: Mom I got a boyfriend
MOM: Omg! Nice job :-)
MOM: Send me a picture
MOM: Secretly
MOM: Don’t tell him you’re taking it
MOM: Its like a game
January 2012
15 posts
Perfume
MOM: Your perfume came in the mail. I sprayed it all over my body. I smell like a cookie.
“DOWAGER COUNTESS: I tried to use Google Plus but really everyone was in the...”
– When Dowager Countess Texts: Google+
I cannot stop reblogging. Apologies.
Swagger
DOWAGER COUNTESS: What is swag?
DOWAGER COUNTESS: Do I want it?
You're Welcome
ME: Mom did you mean to send a message that says “you’re welcome” because the attachment won’t show.
MOM: boooo, it was such a cute picture of a cat in a bowl.
ME: We let mom and dad go on a hike to get alone... →
True
ME: Guess who is really good at surprises???
MOM: Dumbledore?
Ladylike
MOM: Grandma has cats on her socks.
ME: Oh that’s nice.
MOM: Word. What are you doing?
ME: At someone’s house
MOM: Oh. Is it a fun party atmosphere?
ME: I guess
MOM: Have fun and remember to act like a lady.
MOM: No drinking n pukin
MOM: That is NOT ladylike
Guinea Pig
DAD: A Guinea pig is up on the roof. Ill update you later.
ME: What?!?!?!?!?!???!
DAD: The black and white one died.
ME: What is happening?!
DAD: Yes,
(the next morning)
DAD: Could 3 hamsters live in a 55 gal tank with a guinea pig?
Always
ME: How we doin on wine?
MOM: Always get more
WPT Presents: The Best of 2011 Awards
We, the admins of When Parents Text, would like to present our awards for 2011. But before we do, a quick look back at 2011:
The first week of January 2011, we were featured in Entertainment Weekly.
Edubs Must List in Penn Station
By April 2011 we moved off Tumblr and began hosting ourselves on our very own beautiful, blue site.
In August 2011 our book When Parents Text So Much Said… So...
WPT Presents: The Best of 2011 Awards →
December 2011
19 posts
Mom, Chill With The Cookies
ME: I made some cookies. I burnt most of them though.
MOM: Sorryto hear about the cookie massacre!
MOM: The cookies may be burnt, but there never forgotten.
MOM: Shall we plan a museum to celebrate their former existence????
MOM: We could get money to build it by having a bake sale!!!
ME: Mom. Relax about the cookies.
Unlimited Texting
MOM: WHO GAVE GRANDMA A PHONE AND WHY ON EARTH WOULD THEY GIVE HER UNLIMITED TEXTING?! oh god, how many have you gotten? i’m up to 18 in 8 minutes…
ME: i’m up to 25, dont complain…
Rave Reviews!
Did you give or receive When Parents Text for the holidays? Let us know what you think!
My cousin, Ella with her parents’ copy.
Thank you for all your feedback, we’re so happy you’ve enjoyed the book!
Happy Holidays from WPT!
Merry Christmas!
UNCLE DON: Merry Christmas
DAD: Good
Holiday Swag →
One of our new favorites.
Wishing everyone a happy holiday season! <3 WPT
Cialis Moment
MOM: I just had a cialis moment
ME: um……………
MOM: I finally remembered my password for that online Facebook thig!
ME: please google cialis moment and then make appt for me to see therapist
(5 minutes later)
MOM: Oops I have been using that a lot at work I thought it meant you remembered something
We're the Kindle Daily Deal! Our ebook for 99... →
Never Sleep Again
MOM: I am watching you sleep. Is that creepy?
MOM: I am now touching your fingertips to see if they are retractable
MOM: They are
Study Break
Did everyone see our special holiday video? If you didn’t, you can watch it HERE.
We’ll be the DEAL OF THE DAY on Amazon this Friday, December 16th. Our ebook will be heavily discounted, so plan accordingly.
Also, we know it’s finals, so head over to whenparentstext.com for more texts and study breaks.
Aristotle
ME: Dilemma, I have a great seat in the library but I am...
Happiest of Holidays
ME: Are you excited for the christmas party tonight?
DAD: Your mother’s cried twice. Happy Holidays
Dead
DAD: Mom died
(5 minutes later)
DAD: Mom’s phone died. Sorry.
What is your favorite blog to book?
Daylight Savings
ME: Mom, did I see you last night? Sorry I came home a little hammered…
MOM: Um, yes. You did.
ME: Uh oh. What happened?
MOM: I reminded you to change your clocks and you burst into tears. I’ll remember it’s a sensitive subject from now on.
November 2011
7 posts
Hair Accessory
MOM: Grandparents found ur red thong in the black suit case. grandpa thought it was a headband and wore it while cutting the lawn.
2 tags
The Winners of our Anniversary Giveaway!
Did you SHARE, REBLOG, or RETWEET our anniversary video? Then you entered to win a FREE BOOK!
Thank you to everyone for an amazing year!
Thank you for sharing with your friends and family!
Keep the texts coming! There are big things to come from WPT!
THE WINNERS of a copy of WHEN PARENTS TEXT: Facebook: Reginia and Alan Tumblr: misconnection and basilconnormartin Twitter: anthonykuo and...
Moves Like Jagger
ME: Now Mom is singing along to “Moves Like Jagger.”
DAD: Mom is the shit these days.
WatchHEY TUMBLR FANS!!! IT’S OUR ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY AND WE’RE CELEBRATING BY GIVING AWAY A FEW BOOKS!
All you gotta do is re-blog is video! Do it! You know you want to… Especially if you didn’t win a book last time. This is your chance! We <3 you Tumblr.
WPT.
The Foursquare Champ
We originally posted the anonymous submission, “Foursquare Champ” in December 2010.
We loved this text from the start.
Something about the combination of Panera Bread and Matt’s skanky ass really hit home. We posted the text on our Tumblr to rave reviews and in March 2010, when we were deciding on the material for the book, “Foursquare Champ” was an obvious choice.
The text is in the...
Kimmy K
DAD: Kimmy K is getting DIVORCED.
ME: yeah i heard, crazy.
DAD: I want those four hours of my life back that TLC stole with the wedding special
ME: you watched it???
DAD: Chyeah!
October 2011
7 posts
Email: News.
DAD:
Just finished vacuuming the downstairs. Some additional straightening left in the kitchen after I finish this coffee break, but not much. Also, remade the MBR bed with clean sheets. Even put the throw pillows on the bed!
Lawn news-
1. Crows do not like pineapple.
2. Deer will nibble at pineapple, but not much.
3. Deer like apples.
4. Deer have nice manners. They eat an apple one bite at a time and do not try to eat the entire apple in one or two giant mulches.
5. Crows and deer will eat Arby’s leftovers, but crows will eat faster.
6. Both crows and deer approach food cautiously, looking around several times before the first bite as they appear to be sneaking up on food.
Real Housewives of NYC- Jill, Alex, Kelly, and Cindy (the newcomer) have been replaced for next season. Now you know. Plan accordingly.
Back to work. “As The World Turns” may be coming on at 2pm, and I certainly do not want to miss it. Janice may be embezzling from her company, and Lolita may be having an affair with Marilyn’s best friend’s husband.
Yours truly,
Ernie Gluckman
(aka Vacuum Man)
(or is it Vacuous Man)
Cat's Pajamas
MOM: I bought the cat a baby outfit to wear. Pink pj’s
ME: Omg..
MOM: What. She is recovering from surgery she deserves pj’s
Secrets
DAD: what was that new thing you did on my laptop? to copy words
ME: crtl+c? It’s not new.
DAD: well you never told me you knew. you always keep secrets from me